"The potency of non-attachment". Opposite the draining effect of trying to control outcomes.

"This world is called a sun world. All you can do is give, you can't take. You can't grasp. You can't hold on to anything. It's just impossible" - Stutz

Just like Buddhists, Stutz claims that there are some unavoidable aspects of reality you should accept before you can move forward. So the first step he offers to his patients is to accept the Aspects of Reality that no one — really, no one — can avoid. Those three aspects are Pain, Uncertainty, and Constant Work.

On the other side, there are things that make all of us feel more alive. Stutz calls them The Life Force and it looks kind of like a pyramid:

Part X is an invisible force that keeps you from changing

Even when you embrace the Aspects of Reality and start working on your Life Force, you can avoid the darkness. Stutz calls that dark force Part X. It’s almost like any villain you see in a book or movie and it’s equally as important.

So, how can you overcome that villain? By doing something, anything, every day.

In the drawing below, each circle or “pearl” is an action, no matter how big or small. That’s why all pearls are a similar size, to remind you that every action has the same value.

If you want to make progress, you need to face your shadow at some point — the part of yourself you’re ashamed of. Stutz recommends talking to your shadow, visualizing it, work with and not against it.

We are all looking for that perfect experience — perfect husband, perfect vacation, perfect job. Thinking this way is like staring at the perfect Instagram photo — yes, it’s beautiful, but it’s not real. It’s just an illusion you believe in. Remember The Aspects of Reality? You can’t avoid those, no matter how perfect the snapshots in your head are.

And finally, the Maze. According to Stutz, the Maze is the by-product of Part X we discussed earlier. This is what keeps you stuck in the past, full of guilt and remorse. As long as you are lost there, there will be no progress.